Today in the life of...

    I generally arrive in the parkade at the same time everyday I work, So I usually park in one of the same group of stalls. It's a ten story parking garage and I am usually on the fifth floor. This morning, as I drove into my spot, I saw a K-9 security team patrolling my floor. By the time , I got parked, got out, got my stuff, and walked down the stairwell, I saw them again, patrolling on the lower floor.

    Now, when I see something like this, I always wonder what has prompted the company to suddenly start such a service, and I wonder for how long it's going to be around.  I am sure, after a few years of parking here and never seeing security, they haven't suddenly decided to provide for the safety of their parkers. It would be quite the expense, I can imagine. Some event must have happened.

     All in all it seems to be a pretty safe parkade, but then I am coming or going when everyone else is coming or going. I have seen a couple of bums sleeping in the elevator rooms, and the stairwells sometimes have evidence of partying like empty bottles, cigarette butt piles, puke stains and the smell of urine. I don't walk around engaged on my cel phone not paying attention to my surroundings. I make sure I acknowledge everything that I see moving and I know what it is.  You can't be stupid about it. There was a woman killed when coming to work, at regular time I might add, in another parkade, only one block away, a few years ago. She parked her van, got out, was approached by two drunk men and forced back into her van, which they then drove away. She was murdered by one while the other drove. That incident is always in the back of your mind.

     So I wonder if, when before the parkade was okay with it's patrons encountering the occasional drunk or stoned individual, now that our parkade has had an incident so dangerous that it has caused them to hire an outside security team, don't they have an obligation to tell their patrons what happened? So we know to be extra vigilant? And for those who are not vigilant now, they will know there is a danger to look out for? It makes sense to me.

     At one time dangerous offenders were released from jail with $50 and a pat on the back. Now, they have to give notice of the possible places they plan to put down roots, so the local police can release the information to the public. And why not? I would do things differently if I knew a 'reformed' rapist was suddenly moving into my neighborhood. You know....wouldn't hold those naked full moon dance parties in the front yard anymore. Cause, that would probably scare the crap out of the guy, not get him all excited....

     Anyway, my point is, if the police have an obligation to inform the public to be extra vigilant, shouldn't the parkade people have the same obligation? Or am I confusing a tax funded company, aka the police, with a private, profit driven company?

My mother, reincarnated...

     I made an error in judgement about a year and a half ago. When we were desperate here at work for a new receptionist, I suggested to my boss that he interview my 30 year old niece. He did, and she was hired. What a nightmare. It was her first office job, and her first full time job. I might add here though that she was the ONLY person interviewed. I like my boss, but, being a typical boss, he can be lazy not thorough at times, so he didn't bother to post the job or interview anyone else. He considered the situation taken care of, and business went on as usual.

     Except, it didn't go on exactly as usual, because my neice, we'll call her Amie, was absolutely horrible at the job. It wasn't a tough job, mind you. It's answering the phones and helping out all the departments with different projects - things like fedexing, mass photocopying, filing, spreadsheeting results, ordering supplies. Alot of different people bring her different things.

     And she couldn't do it. Not because they were difficult, it just seemed like she didn't want to do things correctly. People would take her things to do and have to return the thing to her and re-instruct her again and again. Finally, people stopped bringing her things altogether. No matter how they told her, she was not able to complete the simplest things.

     Why? Not laziness. She just does not care. She spends her whole day texting, facebooking, and such, completely focused on her family and circle of friends. Obsessively. If her husband does not contact her every half an hour, she is worried about him, saying, "Something's happened oh where is he? I haven't heard from him in 30 mins..." If you are giving her instructions on something, "Amie can you order some paper, you know the blue kind, but lighter blue than last time, maybe the kind with....", she will interrupt you to tell you something about her family. "Guess what, Rach got second in her cheer competition and we are going away for Easter..."  When she first did this I thought she was doing it because we are family, but then I realized she does it to EVERYONE in the office.

     And her rate of absenteeism is through the roof. Okay, she has an autistic 6 year old, and she works reduced hours around her daughter's school schedule. My boss has been more than accommodating, reducing her hours worked, believing her when she tells him she is sick or the kids are sick, even though I know she is taking the day off because her husband is home. Finally I told him she doesn't want to be here, but won't quit because then she'll have no excuse to tell her husband. My boss, ever the nice-guy optimist, comes up with a plan. He reduces her hours further - now she only works Mon-Wed-Fri - and tells her if she is sick on a work day, she has to make it up the next day. So if she is sick on Monday, she has to work the following Tuesday to make up for it. Then he says to me, 'Now we'll see if she wants to be here or not. If she doesn't, she'll still miss, if she does and is really sick, she'll make up the time."

     Surprise surprise, things are no better. She was sick yesterday so she should have been here today, but she left the boss a message saying, "See you Friday!" And he is finally fed up, admits defeat, and is going to fire her. He even came to me and asked if I would be okay with that. I said, "Hey, I would have fired her after six months!" 

     I am relieved that it is finally over, because it has been frustrating and stressful, but I am also sad that it didn't work out. More than that, I am surprised, shocked even, at her performance. The way she acted just isn't normal. I had a good idea about some of her personality, but wow, it's been a real eye-opener. This blog could be 10,000 words long and I wouldn't even dent the subject.

     To keep it short though, I will repeat what I told my boss: She is exactly like my mother, her grandmother. Exactly. Just does not have the ability to control obsessive behaviour, does not understand how people communicate in a group environment, does not know how to...be normal. And that's amazing to me. Because as much as I have seen similiar physical traits in fathers and sons, or mothers and daughters, I have never seen such clear mental traits between two related individuals. It's kind of hard to explain, really, but I will be revisiting this. Alot.

     And when my boss asks me if I know anyone who is looking for a job this time, I'll know how to reply.

Banff wildlife, part two

     Some more pics of wildlife from the Banff trip. Here are a few more elk.

This daddy elk was content to lay around until some other people got too close. He stood up to keep a better eye on them. He looked my way, probably jealous of the Super Duper Zoom! lens.

I zoomed in and didn't even wake her.

And here's a young one taking it easy.

Here is the daddy sheep from that group that crossed the road in front of us.

And this little guy was deciding if he could make the same leap his mom just made. I love this pic, he looks so cute.

And that's about it. Gotta love digital photography, I took about 300 photos in total. No wasted film, no blurry, overexposed shots. Well...kay, these may be a bit overexposed, but I haven't played with them in photoshop yet. That'll be next. I'll see if I can brighten them up any.

Banff wildlife and my new lens, part one

     When we ventured to Banff last weekend, it was the first opportunity I have had to try out my new camera lens. I lovingly refer to it as Super Duper Zoom! Here's some examples:


     We came across a large herd of elk. Here they are, doing elk things. This shows about how far away from them we actually were.

     And this is a pic I took with my old zoom lens.

     And this is a pic I took with my Super Duper Zoom!

     Wild huh? Wanna see it again? Here's a lonely sheep we stumbled upon.

     And here he is as taken by my Super Duper Zoom!

     I could see his breath puff out through the lens. It was awesome. This is fun! Here is one more example. A herd of sheep crossing the highway:

     And here is the last of them seen through my Super Duper Zoom!

     Sheep bums everywhere! So cute. Stay tuned for part two for more random pics of animals as showcased by my Super Duper Zoom! YAY!

Shopping galore

     Nothing like shopping for big appliances that you can't afford to make you feel like all is right with the world. It's a very odd tradition, but yet tons of people shop this way. Well, probably not quite as bad as we do.

     It started because I accidentally overpaid my sears credit card bill, so there happened to be about a $500 credit on it. How does one overpay a bill to the tune of $500? It's a long story, but basically it involves a miscommunication between bill payment and bill arrival.

     So here we are, off to sears. I have been holding on to the credit until there was something big we needed, and we decided we might as well burn it up on a new lawn mower, since we had to borrow someone's to finish off the mowing season last year. You wouldn't think it would be difficult to find lawn mowers at Sears, but we searched all over that stupid store. Gardening centre was not open yet, not in with household stuff, finally we found a map and headed off in the right direction....

     ....and happened to pass the big appliance dpeartment. There was a washer there and they had it running, and as we passed by I said to SO, "Is that thing on? Because that is the quietest washer I have ever heard!" SO agreed, and with that, we found ourselves talking to a saleslady about a new washer and dryer. Now I need to mention here that those salespeople are GOOD. You see, we didn't really need a new set, ours, although very old, was still functioning. Even so, the price was good, and we walked out of there with a new washer and dryer.

     I must say we did a fine job of using up the credit we had on the card, and then some. I think having the credit made us feel all superior or something. Now we have another monthly payment we can't really afford, especially with not knowing if SO will even have a job in a couple of weeks. So now I have a serious case of buyers remorse....of course, that could be the new stove we also tacked onto the purchase.....

plastic is poison..as was lead in it's day

     I got one of those viral emails that is making the rounds. This one talks about the horrors of plastic. Don't drink water from a bottle that been sitting in the sun, don't nuke foods in plastic containers, because the heated plastic leaks poisonous dioxins into our food. This type of poisoning has been linked to forms of cancer, especially breast cancer.

     All this is true, and it's something I have believed for a while. It's a conclusion I came to all by myself, without the help of informative emails. When I nuked something in plastic, I could smell that something was wrong. My body reacted to the fumes. It was trying to tell me to stay away from it.

     And finally I started to listen. I went back to drinking tap water...it's the same water I have drank all my life...and I stopped using the microwave, period. I encourage others to do the same. I think others are starting to get the message. But I do wonder....if this email had not come around, would people have slowly come to the same conclusion without it? Or do they truly need to hear it from a doctor or scientist? We are smart and our bodies are smart. They will tell us what is wrong. We only have to learn to listen.

     The other thing I don't understand is the limiting nature of this email. Why only water bottles? And nuked plastic containers? There are so many other ways our food is presented to us in this poison covering. If water bottles sitting in a car getting warm cause dioxins to leak into the liquid, what about pop bottles or juice bottles? Can people not see that it's the same thing? If heated plastic leaks dioxins into food, then what about cans? Do people realize that 95% of cans are lined with a plastic coating, and cooked veggies and lunch foods like ravioli are put into these cans hot, and then sealed? It's the same thing, people! Do people know that you shouldn't keep budgies and other small birds in a cage in the kitchen because the fumes released from tfal-coated frying pans will kill them? If it kills them, what is it doing to us? These are the same birds that were used in mines to detect poisonous gas. When the little bird dropped from it's perch, the miners got the hell out of there. Can we put the two together here?

     It's one thing after another. Plastic is everywhere, and let's face it, it's killing us. 100 years from now, they will look back at this time like we look back at the time 100 years ago when cans were made of lead, which leached into the food and killed people. We think, didn't they know? Didn't they realize? How could they be so stupid? Why didn't they stop it? Well, they did stop using lead cans, eventually, when the connection was made. And here we are, being poisoned by plastic. And we know it! So when does it stop? When the doctors and scientists tell us to? Or when we start making up our own minds to change the situation?

Poor puffy.....

     Last night was Agility training for Scout. It's so funny, because as good as Wizard is in his class, Scout is that BAD in hers.

     I guess she didn't want to do anything. She didn't want to go down the ramp, which she was almost doing last week. She didn't want to go through the tunnel, which she definitely did before with no problem.

Why? Are we bad puppy parents? But Wizard does so good...so we must be okay in training.
At this point, do we continue? The cost is becoming an issue, she obviously doesn't like it, SO says it's frivolous...

     I don't want to waste the money but I still think it's good for her. She has such issues with being afraid of everything. I don't want to go camping and have her bark her head off at everything that moves like last year. When we were at the dog park two weeks ago it seemed like she had really turned a corner. Between the dog park, her agility, and her one day a week at daycare it seemed like she wasn't so afraid of every dog.

     But now it's like she has taken two steps back.

     I am hoping the daycare owners will let us come of Friday and run through the equipment, or even just hang out there with no big dogs and let her get comfortable. I'll talk to them about that.

     And then there's the possibilty I want the dogs to do this for me. And I admit, I do enjoy it. Maybe I am one of those parents who would sign their children up for every class that they wanted to do when they were a child, but didn't get to. I don't think I would be that kind of parent though. I believe a kid should attend something they are interested in themselves. Every one has a different personality, and has different interests. I think parents have a hard time understanding that their children are not little copies of themselves. "What do you mean Johnny doesn't like hockey? I played it every second I wasn't in school. Soccor!!! No way! My kid isn't going to play some floofy European sport....he'll play hockey or nothing!"

     Okay, that sounded a bit redneck. But really. I don't understand this parenting logic. Okay, so dogs are not exactly the same. While they do indeed have individual personalities, they have a common 'pack mentality' that they all adhere to. To me that means that all dogs should be trainable, you just have to find the type of training that suits their personality. And we haven't found Scout's yet.

I'll keep trying I guess. Even if it is a little bit selfish. But I get so damn sick of sitting in front of the computer or TV. SO would spend every second plugged into the computer. Me, I would get rid of cable and not even have the TV on. I see nothing wrong with wanting to get out and run around with the dogs.

Ugh.

What to do.

Avatar messes with doctrines

VATICAN CITY — The Vatican newspaper and radio station have called the film “Avatar” simplistic, and criticized it for flirting with modern doctrines that promote the worship of nature as a substitute for religion. Here is the text, in part, of the article:


L’Osservatore Romano and Vatican Radio dedicated ample coverage to James Cameron’s big-grossing, 3-D spectacle. But the reviews were lukewarm, calling the movie superficial in its eco-message, despite groundbreaking visual effects.

L’Osservatore said the film “gets bogged down by a spiritualism linked to the worship of nature.” Similarly, Vatican Radio said it “cleverly winks at all those pseudo-doctrines that turn ecology into the religion of the millennium.”

“Nature is no longer a creation to defend, but a divinity to worship,” the radio said.

Vatican spokesman the Rev. Federico Lombardi said that while the movie reviews are just that — film criticism, with no theological weight — they do reflect Pope Benedict XVI’s views on the dangers of turning nature into a “new divinity.”

Benedict has often spoken about the need to protect the environment, earning the nickname of “green pope.” But he has sometimes balanced that call with a warning against neo-paganism.

In a recent World Day of Peace message, the pontiff warned against any notions that equate human person and other living things. He said such notions “open the way to a new pantheism tinged with neo-paganism, which would see the source of man’s salvation in nature alone.”

The Vatican newspaper occasionally likes to comment in its cultural pages on movies or pop culture icons, as it did recently about “The Simpsons” or U2. In one famous instance, several Vatican officials spoke out against “The Da Vinci Code.”

I love the line that reads, "...which would see the source of man's salvation in nature alone." Because, really, our salvation is in nature. It's because of mother nature that we are here, and because of her gentleness with us that we remain. Let's face it, if she didn't want us here, we wouldn't be here. She could wipe us all out in an hour. Less than an hour. A sunami here, an earthquake, volcanic eruption, avalanche or mudslide there....if all that didn't work, how about a permament ice age for a couple of years?

Like it or not, our life is in her hands. why not give her a little worship? Maybe it'll buy us a few more years' rent on this rock we call Earth.

Unions....

Further to my rather vague post on Unions, here is a much more detailed rant written by my friend and posted on her face book. It gives more insight into her experience. I felt the need to copy it here, mainly so that I have a copy of it.


You know it is a bad sign when your corporate lawyer sits down with you to begin discussing your venture into the world of Union Certification and says “You’re going to lose. You are going to come out of this worse off than when you began and the trick is to lose as little as possible and still manage to survive. “



Unfortunately, he was bang on. We lost. There is no winning situation on behalf of a company when dealing with a Union, at least from my limited perspective. I completely understand and even support the general ideology behind why Unions came to be in the first place. The Industrial Revolution created a situation where man power became cheap and terribly expendable and all manner of work abuse emerged when the bulk of the labour force moved from the farm into the factories. However, it has been my experience that the good ideas have been pushed and twisted and warped to the point that Unions are now the abusers and the companies (especially the smaller ones) are too easily the victims.


Naturally, I can only speak from my own experiences and as much as I am writing this because my cousin asked for my perspective (she is a social teacher looking for more than the standard curriculum information regarding unions), it is also a catharsis or a closure tool for me personally. You will have to forgive me if I am a little biased in my views.. I was up very late last night caving into the last of their demands and while I am happy to announce that we finally have a Certified Bargaining Agreement to put to vote this week, I rather feel as if I have been ‘screwed, blued and tattooed’.


Let’s begin with the basics. Any group of employees may band together and apply at a Union for representation. This is called an application for certification. As soon as any union receives this application they notify the Alberta Labour Board (ALB) who then notifies the lucky company. At this point we were advised that we were no longer able to hire, fire or do anything to our company policies that would affect the ‘financial status’ of any of our ‘employees’.


First off, no one in their right mind considers a taxi driver an ‘employee’. They are self employed sub contractors. They own their own vehicle, set their own hours, make their wages directly from the customers they transport and are responsible for their own expenses. They simply pay our company a weekly fee for using our name, using our banking system to cash their credit card fares and for access to the contracts we have garnered for them - the biggest one of course being the International Airport.


Well, apparently the ALB disagrees with us. We took it to court, we lost. For one whole year while we were trying to get the government to see that while our drivers do indeed drive a car with our corporate logo on the side, we did not influence the majority of their working conditions (the International Airport guidelines are very strict and we are bound by our agreement with them as to how we run a good portion of our business) ... we were not allowed to hire, fire, or in essence run our company without “union approval”. This is a terrible handicap and our business suffered because of it.


After the ALB ruling that our drivers were indeed “employees for the purpose of representation” the union announced a date to vote. If 51% or more of our entire driving population voted ‘yes’, we would be union certified.


Here is where I believe the first dangerous areas of abuse can occur. During the period between applying for certification and the vote, the rules of conduct for union members/employees and the company are vastly different and worrying.


The company may not say or do anything that will ‘influence an employee’s decision one way or another’. Apparently this includes telling the truth about anything. Our lips are firmly sealed while yet we have to stand by and watch various employees lie, abuse and threaten their fellow members into whatever they want them to believe.


There are no laws governing the methods employees use to coerce their voting body into voting whichever way the ringleaders want. And yes, I use the term ringleaders. I don’t suppose it’s any different in any other company where there are natural leaders among the employee population - the men/women who will stand up and speak on behalf of their fellow workers.


Because it took a year for the ALB to determine that our drivers were rightfully allowed representation by a union, there were a great many instances of abuse. Drivers who voiced any negative opinions about unionization were threatened, verbally and physically abused and lied to. Yes, I know, there are laws regarding threats and abuse... but amazingly enough no one pressed any charges. Draw your own conclusions.


The Union’s response to these concerns? That it was the company’s fault for fighting the certification process in the first place and if we had simply allowed the vote, it would have happened in the normal time frame of a week or two, instead of the year it took us. Gee, thanks for your help.


So. Ok. The vote happens, naturally we are certified. Now comes the fun stuff. The way I see it, we own and run the company because we can. We have the experience, the knowledge, the dedication to ‘be the bosses’. I’m sorry, but if any employee could do it, they would have and they would not be employees.


Unionization gives a group of people the right to manage a company when they are dangerously unqualified to do so. Without consulting us, without doing any kind of research into the taxi industry in Alberta, the union placed their demands upon our company and made promises to their members that were patently impossible to fulfill.


Another year later we were still arguing a good many of these points. This brings me to another concern. The union officials, the people who are union employees – who are paid to administer the union, coordinate the efforts of certification, the experienced men/women who understand labour laws and business ethics and practices – are only puppets for the bargaining members.


During the bargaining process, there are two committees. One made up of the company, the other by union employees and employees of the company (the bargaining members). Once again, the people who are best qualified to make decisions (the experience union employees) are not the ones who do so.


No matter how ridiculous or mob like the bargaining members’ demands are, the union must present them to the company and fight on their behalf. This is a colossal waste of time and energy when certain demands are patently unfeasible because (in our case) a) they go against the contract between the company and the airport or b) they would very quickly bankrupt the company.


Now, if you have a few choice members on the employee committee side of the table, who have ulterior motives.. like say, closing our company so it will benefit a rival company.. or bankrupting our company simply because they hate us.. or getting their way on an item because it personally benefits them and their own ethnic circle.... the union and the company is very limited in how they can respond to these threats. All we can do is talk, talk, talk and try to get them to see reason.


The employees 100% drive the bargaining. If you are stuck with a group of people whose idea of bargaining is ‘No, give in.’ .. .and “No. Have you changed your mind yet?”... “NO. We want it this way regardless of your logic or reasoning.. “... your company can be in grave danger.


Thankfully we managed, by sheer will and determination, and yes... by being willing to close the company and walk away should we have been pressed further... we managed to come out of the bargaining process with an agreement we are hoping we can live with.


Time will tell.


And another friend posted these comments afterwards:


Everything you have said here is absolutely true. I agree with all your points, particularly "I completely understand and even support the general ideology behind why Unions came to be in the first place."


One unfortunate and incontrovertible fact is that the fat cats (both literally and figuratively) at the top of the union ladders have agendas that have NOTHING to do with ethical, moral employment standards.

The majority of small business owners care deeply about their employees - going to great lengths to not only preserve their own source of income, but that of every person who works for/with them.

In a perfect world, every individual would be able to see his/her undeniable connection to every other individual on the planet - what benefits one, benefits ALL! I guess we are just not there yet.

Although your letter has to do with your personal experience re: unions/lawyers/bargaining bodies, the ramifications go far beyond the immediate!... See More

That is sad, because the entire country - "the best place in the world to live" - stands in jeopardy of becoming just another war zone on the world map!

Can't happen? Oh yes, it can!! As long as good people are forced to accommodate the lowest common denominator, it is inevitable.

My heart is with you, and you are loved!

What to do about unions

I feel so bad for my friend. She is really being put through the ringer by her employees, who are unionizing. They feel it's the right thing to do to protect their jobs, but it might mean the end of the company. And then they will have no jobs. Common sense would tell them this, but they seem to be sadly lacking in that right now. And my friend is not allowed to tell them how close they are to losing the contract they are currently fulfilling. It's against union rules to talk to them.

Alot of things are against union rules, apparently. All the power is with them. Management is not allowed to speak with employees without a union representative, but yet the union can hold off site picnics for prospective members and their families, and bash the management. How did it get to be this way? There was a time when unions were necessary, to enforce work limitations and pay scale structures. But now? With every province having employment standards that regulate at least a minimum wage, as well as holidays and such, are unions really necessary?

God, I hope things work out for her.

Beginning of April already?

This will be a summary post of my year so far.....
First, a quarterly update on my resolution to stop food waste. Well, it's gone pretty well, to be honest. Shortly after I made that resolution, I started a diet in earnest. It's helped because I have to make a meal plan so I know how much I can eat, so I buy only what's on the plan, and also there has been WAY less eating out. I don't want to be one of those bloggers who spend all their time regaling you with successes at the scale, or conversely with depressed fits of crying when things don't go well. But the diet has contributed to the success of my resolution, so I thought it worth mentioning. You'll probably get a Hurrah! out of me every once in a while as I reach a milestone, but I promise that's it.
I still run into problems with waste mainly due to the portions of food. Before, this didn't bother me, but now we are eating way less, so a store size portion of food is too big for my planned meal. For instance, I plan for one meal involving a plain chicken breast. Now, when you buy a chicken breast at the store, each one is about 8-9 ounces. In the past, I would cook two breasts for the two of us, which is one each. But my diet tells me a serving of chicken breast is only supposed to be only 4 ounces, so now I take one chicken breast and cut it in half, and serve one half to each of us. Where's the problem, you ask?
So glad you asked...the problem is the chicken breasts don't come in a package all by themselves. They come packaged in groups of 3 at the minimum, and sometimes more. If I want to use it all, 3 of the 5 weekly meals I plan have to be with chicken. That's just toooooo much chicken! I'll get sick of it, sick of working with it, and then fall off the wagon hard. Freezing it is not an option. I don't like what freezing does to it's texture, and I will never remember it's down there. The only thing I freeze is pies. Everything else is as fresh as I can get it.
I have had no cause to put resolution #2 into play. I am sure I will soon, as people start to crawl out of their winter cocoons and travel around a bit. I am still maintaining my self-imposed cutoff from immediate family members. didn't even go to Easter dinner at my sister's, I am proud to say.
I spent most of the weekend enjoying the warmth of the sun. We were at the dog park for an hour on saturday and 2.5 hours on Sunday. The pups loved it and I must say, we saw a great improvement over Scout and her aggression issues. Cesar is right! Stay calm, just stay calm. On Saturday I was afraid to let her off her leash, and while the other dogs ran around I kept her on the leash. Whenever another dog came near, she barked like crazy and lunged at him. I was worried she would bite one of them, but I thought I was being calm and not giving her negative energy. Boy, was I wrong. On Sunday, friends of ours showed up with their dog, and while standing around talking to them, I let go of her leash to see what would happen, since she seemed to be okay with their dog. And she was fine! She didn't bark, she didn't run after any dogs, she came back wehn we called. I felt such promise. My theory is, in talking to my friends I was distracted from her, and was not feeding her bad energy anymore. I relaxed completely, and so did she. We were so happy to see it!
Now it just figure out how to get to that truly calm state. Ugh.