I have tried to write this post about 20 times over the last three days, but just can't seem to get the wording right.
In a straight forward way what I want to say is this: After three of the best years of my life, I can feel my luck changing. I can feel stuff - home, health, happiness, money - being pulled away.
What do I want to say about it? First, it's happening. Second, why is it happening. Third, what to do about it.
I guess this subject has so many angles, I can't decide how to tackle it. I don't wanna come off sounding like some crazy person, going on about powers and forces and such. For the most part, I don't believe in that stuff. I do believe in Karma, that life will give you what you give it.
Yet, here I am, trying to explain how my world is changing on so many levels all at once, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Here's what I don't understand: If someone has kept going about their business day in and day out, without ever encountering any situations that require a...let's say....a life altering decision, why does their luck change? If I have not been asked by Karma to step up to the plate, how can Karma judge me?
Or am I wrong in thinking I have any influence in this? People out there swear by the stars, the unviverse, the numbers....things that have been set since the beginning of time. Does the second moon shadow of Saturn being in the 18th quadralateral of the phase of the zulu Archer in Mars mean that I am screwed until the phase is over?
And then, of course, there's the ring. My logical mind tells me there is no way the ring has anything to do with it, yet my terrified-of-the-future mind keeps going back to it. I found a ring, you see. It was obviously an old ring, an antique of some kind. The gold just had that old time look to it. It had a large stone set into it. I liked the ring, and knew that, because of where I found it, finding it's owner would be impossible, so I started wearing it.
The stone wasn't a gemstone so I didn't think it was worth very much. However, one day I thought I might like a bracelet of the same type of stone to match the ring, so I looked online. I found out I was right, as far as value was concerned the stone, and thus the ring, was not worth alot. It was however, considered a very lucky stone, a harbringer of fortune, luck and money. As I reflected on everything that had happened in my life since I had started wearing the ring, I had to agree that this was a truthful assessment. Coincidence? Of course.
Still...still.....
I can't wear the ring anymore. It doesn't fit. In the last year I have gained so much weight, the ring won't go on. Sigh number one my luck was changing. Now other things are going wrong in my world. Lots of things. Coincidence? Absolutely.
But I can't get it out of my head that if only I could wear that lucky ring, everything would change back. Bad luck wouldn't come, life would continue on in that happy daily routine.
Sure, I am trying to lose the weight. But that's a time consuming thing and this bad luck could be apon me as soon as Dec 7th. So, I need a new ring, a new good luck stone.
Or, I actually have to change my own luck.....not impossible of course, but it's a tall order for a pessimist like me.
